The in-between
You thought you set something in motion. You didn’t.
After the email is sent. After the test is done. After the words are spoken. There’s a beat. Still. Nothing moves. You’ve set something in motion— or so you think— and now it’s the waiting. The in-between. You can’t do anything here. The action is taken. It’s out of your hands. We all know this place. The wait-for-what-will-happen phase. You’ve spent hours perfecting your sales email. Now you wait to see if someone bites. You’ve undergone tests to find what’s wrong in your body. Now you wait for the results. You think you controlled the lead-up. You wrote the words. You pressed send. You made the call. You got the referral. That part felt like yours. Once the outcome lands, you’ll pick it up again. Shape the next steps. Make your move. But this? This middle part— the limbo between effort and result— you want out of it. It feels unbearable. Slow. Powerless. You want to get to the place where control returns. But it won’t. It never does. Because it never existed. You never had control to begin with. Only the illusion of it. This in-between? It’s not a phase. It’s your whole life. Your actions weren’t yours. Your decisions weren’t either. Nothing was ever in your hands. It never will be. Depending on the day— depending on how much illusion is left— that will either scare you or set you free. Maybe you’re scanning this piece looking for hope, a tip, a fix. There isn’t one. Control is just as fictional as you and I. And the best thing that can happen is seeing that, too. Once you do— you’ll laugh. And grieve. And feel the quiet, steady relief you’ve been chasing all along. Control was never yours. You never were the separate person you thought you were. What joy. What freedom. What a strange, holy exhale. Love, Brigitte
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P.S. If my words resonate, my work might, too.
You’ll find all the ways to go deeper here.
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